A Humble Light

“But God, I don’t want to…”

I try to find myself saying this less often, but there seems to be a natural resistance between what I want to do and what God whispers in my ear to do. I think the Bible calls that the resistance between the inner (spiritual) and outer (carnal) person. 

My sister and I had an argument last week. I lost my patience, and said things I’ve thought in the back of my mind for years about her, my own sister, and cut her with 100 words. I felt so right because she “started” something, even as adults, but I couldn’t help but walk away feeling like even though I felt right, I was wrong. Then society would probably dog me on, and say, “Yeah girl, she deserved it, but God says otherwise to me.” Looking back, it’s highlighted in my heart, “All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart.” - Prov. 21:2

Today my sister was moving, and I actually didn’t want to go help her, I started growing cold. Then, I felt a nudge, “Go help her.” So, I followed my nudge, perhaps a Godly nudge, to my sister, and saw her, and said a simple, “I’m sorry for what I said to you last week, I really shouldn’t have.” An apology from me as the oldest sister, unfortunately is rare, and I was expecting a smart answer from her, to make me upset and allow me to walk away. But, my sister actually shocked me in a completely different way, and she said, “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have started things with you. I was wrong.” This means so much to me!!! God must be the God of peace like he Promises to us. He says even the hearts of kings are in His hands, so I’m glad maybe he turned my sister’s heart and mine, to face each other, and have forgiveness despite harsh words.

I wonder if deep down inside if Jesus had natural human feelings of not wanting to obey God as He was part human, but with God, He triumphed as the perfect lamb, innocent Savior. He used the Word to defend against temptation. He was empowered by God, and we too are. What a Gift of Himself to be the Connector to God Almighty for us!

Also, it’s crossed my mind today that Jesus’ claim was Savior, divine nature and human. I truly believe He was and is of divine nature, as when He faced hardship with the crowds, and with the authority figures of that time allowing Him to be beaten to death. Not only did He face this hardship, but He supposedly didn’t retaliate. He was Innocent. It’s within human nature I believe to retaliate, to fight back if one is innocent, but He didn’t, and He could walk on water, heal the sick, and other miracles. He allowed mankind to abuse Him, like we abuse and hurt each other. 

We aren’t evolved, we’re human. We aren’t perfect, we’re perfectly covered in Love in Him. Let’s embrace His Higher Nature, and “want to” with God.